


And I Don't Work There Anymore

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Game Grumps, jacksepticeye
Genre: Bad Jokes, Car Sex, Cunnilingus, Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, Multi, Public Sex, Threesome - F/M/M, Triad - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 04:19:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8782699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Dan, Holly, and Jack go to a very tacky bar.





	

The bar was a tacky disaster. There were puffer fish lamps, and some of the drinks came in plaster mugs shaped like cats, or pigs. The drinks were sweet, and had little umbrellas in them, and fruit, and little plastic monkeys hanging off by their tails. 

Jack was in heaven.

Holly seemed to be enjoying herself as well, although she also wasn't as drunk as he was.

That first drink, man. Who even knew something that was on fire in the middle could set you reeling so hard?

Dan was sober, and looked immensely amused by everything. 

Maybe it was the fact that Jack was trying to jerk his thigh off. Or maybe it was because Jack kept slumping against him and kissing him - really kissing him, with his tongue and his teeth and his lips, pausing to belt out more of the godawful song that was stuck in his head or to make out with Holly, his free hand sliding across her body, from her hip to her breast to her face. 

But in this moment, he was just singing. 

"German method of ore extraction she asked for!" Jack bellowed. "Mine shaft she got!" 

"Right," said Dan, the only sober one, as Holly groaned, her face in her hands, "I think it's time to go home." He grabbed Jack's hand, which had finally found something hard and warm, and he squeezed it. "As much as my phone is appreciating the awesome handy."

Jack laughed harder, the room spinning, his mind light and giddy. 

"You think so? Is it gonna jizz on my hand?"

"What would phone jizz even look like?" Holly scooted out from behind the booth, staggering slightly and clutching her purse to her chest. She grabbed hold of Jack's other hand, andthe three of them staggered through the parking lot, towards Holly's car. 

"I have no idea," Dan said, and then he didn't say anything, because in the yellow halogen lighting, his face was a stark white and his lips were dark, and he had to be kissed - Jack was dead sure of it.

Jack kissed him again, and then he pulled back and turned around, pressing Holly into the car and kissing her, first her mouth, then her neck, as Dan nibbled and bow down the back of Jack's neck, his erection hard against Jack's ass. 

"Fuck, Jack," Holly moaned, and she was going weak in the knees, clutching at Jack's shirt, at Dan's leather jacket, her ass against the hood of the car and her eyes squeezed shut as she panted up at the sky.

"Mmm...," Jack mumbled, and then he was giggling and singing to himself. "Velvet she wanted, felt she got!" His hand were on her breasts, and they were soft and yielding, her nipples hard and wrinkled against his palms.

"Where did you even get that song?" Holly was just... shamelessly humping him, moaning. She gave a full body shake when he nudged his knee between her legs pressing up, forcing her skirt to ride up.

"I know it too," said Dan, his chin resting on Jack's shoulder. "I used to work in Chicago, in an old department store," he sang, and Jack sang along with him.

"A carpet she wanted - a shag she got!" Jack was fumbling his pants open, about to fish his cock out of his jeans. 

"... I'm not drunk enough to have a three way in a bar parking lot," said Holly, although she sounded regretful, and her hand was sliding down into Jack's pants, squeezing his cock, tugging gently at his foreskin, which always made his toes curl and his eyes roll back. 

"How about a three way in the car itself?" He grinned, and he let out a giggling sort of moan as she jerked him off, and Dan kissed along the back of his neck. "I am in dire need of that sweet pussy of yours, Holly. Dire, dire need."

She shivered, still riding his knee, and she shook her head hard enough to make her glasses rattle. 

"No," she said, withdrawing her hand. "We couldn't all fit in the back seat."

"You two could," said Dan, and he was grabbing Jack's hand, making him reach back and squeeze.

Jack found something that wasn't Dan's phone - unless Dan's phone had started to leak, and throbbed when Jack rubbed it. 

"But I don't want you to be left out," said Jack, looking over his shoulder at Dan, then full on turning around, as Holly wriggled out from against him to unlock the car. 

"Oh no," Dan said, deadpan. "I've got two sexy people fucking around in the back seat. When we're literally ten minutes from home. And those two selfsame sexy people will let me in on the action as soon as I ask. The horror."

"Okay, fair," said Holly, sliding into the back seat. Her shirt was askew, and her skirt was riding up enough that Jack could see her bird printed panties. 

“Why are you laughing?” Dan took the keys that Holly was offering, sliding into the front seat and slamming the door behind him, as Jack crawled in, sitting heavily next to Holly.

“I used to work in Chicago,” Jack sang, aware he was flat and off key, not really caring. “An old department store. A woman came in asking for liquor, andlick her I did!” His hands were down up her skirt, up under the elastic of her panties, and his fingers were inside of her, curving and thrusting as she whimpered and panted against him.

“There’s been quite a lot of liquor,” Dan agreed, and he sounded like he was going to start laughing. “Are you going to lick her that much?”

“Oh, fuck yes,” Jack moaned, and he was actually… lying on his stomach, or at least trying to - it was hard, in the small car.

He ended up pulling Holly halfway onto her back, her knees resting on his shoulders, her pretty pink face all the pinker from the booze and embarrassment. 

“We are so dead if we get caught,” she told him, as Dan leaned in from the front seat, one of his big thumbs circling her nipple, which had popped out of her bra.

Well, more accurately, Jack had pulled her shirt up, her bra down. She looked fucking debauched, and she was so clearly turned on…. 

“Lick her I did,” Jack mumbled, and he pressed his face forward, right into her pussy, his lips parting her labia, his tongue diving into her. 

“Ah!” Her hips rocked forward - folded in half like this, there wasn’t much that she could do, but like there and take it, and Jack kinda liked it that way.

Holly was always so focused on everyone else - having her sorta-kinda forced to just take it, accept the pleasure given to her by a guy who loved her - by two guys who loved her, even! - was… fuck, it was hot. 

Jack held her thighs open with his hands, squeezing hard enough that she was going to have bruises, holding her in place with is chin as he began to lick her hole , jabbing his tongue inside to collect more wetness, flickering it, moaning and whimpering himself, his foot braced awkwardly on the floor of the car, his other leg tucked up under him. 

“Oh, fuck,” Dan moaned, and when Jack looked up, he saw that Dan’s cock was in hand, and Dan was fucking his own fist, his other hand moving from Holly’s nipples to her belly, even sliding two fingers into her mouth. “Oh, fuck, pigeon, you look so fucking hot, spread out like this!” 

The car was turning steamy, the windows fogging up, and Jack wanted to take his shirt off - sweat was dripping down his back, and it was gross. But that would mean stopping, and Holly's legs were starting to tense against him, Holly’s face was beginning to scrunch up and turn redder, Holly’s pussy was quivering around his tongue. 

“Jack, suck her clit, do it, suck her clit, make her cum,” Dan was actually giving instructions, and Dan was all too happy to obey, as Holly pulled her own hair and squealed when he found the small nub and just sucked it, flickering his tongue over the tip of it. 

“Oh fuck, Jack, Dan, Jack, Dan, fuck fuck…. Fuck!” Holly went stiff against Jack, and her pussy pulsed against his face like a heart, squeezing around nothing, more wetness dribbling out of her. 

Jack pulled back, his chin shiny with slick and drool, and he shoved his pants down, nudging at her thigh with his cock, the head smearing across her skin. 

“Please pigeon, please baby, please, let me in, please,” he moaned, 

There was some more rearranging, and they were probably gonna have to clean up the car, but who cared right now, because Holly was in Jack’s lap, leaning forward, her hands on Dan’s shoulders as he bounced her in his lap, watching rapt as Dan made out with her, her small hands on Dan’s cock. 

“S-s-save some of that dick for me,” Jack panted, as Holly actually leaned forward, taking the head of Dan’s cock in her mouth.

It gave Jack a full view of her pussy, and his cock sliding in and out of it, and if that wasn’t the hottest fucking thing ever... .

He could see himself pulse, almost all of him out of her, just the head remaining, and then he was back inside of her, all the way, her back pressed against his chest, and Dan was climbing into the back seat next to them, long legs awkward in the cramped space, grabbing Jack by the hair to kiss Holly off of his lips, Jack and Holly's hands both on Dan’s erection now, jerking it in time with Jack’s thrusts into Holly. 

“How does he feel, baby?” Dan was panting, his hand sliding between Holly’s legs to press on her clit, then grabbing her tit, pinching the nipple hard enough to make her squeal and spasm around Jack’s dick. 

“He’s so hard,” Holly moaned, one hand on the ceiling of the car to keep from hitting her head. “Feel him, fuck, Dan, please, oh god…”

Dan’s skinny fingers were slipping to where their bodies were joined, and Dan was squeezing the base of Jack’s cock, was feeling along the wetness of it, then sliding into Holly’s pussy, with Jack’s cock, as Jack and Holly jerked him off.

“Fuck,” Jack gasped, the sensations overwhelming. Holly was soft and wet and hot, and Dan's fingers were hot and hard, and they were both against and around his cock, and he was going to blow, Dan’s leaking, flushed cock beginning to pulse against his hand, until he was thrusting up into her, desperate, cumming deep inside of her, his balls tingling and his knees weak. 

Dan came across his own shirt, and he made an annoyed noise, but then he slumped against them, withdrawing his fingers carefully. 

Jack took those same fingers into his mouth andsucked them, one hand holding on to Holly’s tit, the other milking Dan for every last drop of cum.

Holly’s free hand was between her own legs, and she was tensing up around Jack, getting tighter and tighter, until she was cumming, squeezing his oversensitive cock as she pulsed and shuddered.

“... well,” said Dan, and he laughed, his dick softening against his jean covered thigh, “how about showers when we get back?”

“Silver faucets she asked for,” Jack mumbled, “golden showers she got!”

Holly and Dan both poked him.


End file.
